when love failed

sometime in february 2009, i wrote an entry on love. being a girl who read books and watches movies a lot, i often daydream and pretend to be 'in character' in a fictional plot. though it might sound silly, believing in what seems unreal seems to satisfy my fascination of the make-believe world. my most favorite theme of all time: love story. these 'happily ever after' stories has given us too many unreasonable expectations such as finding our prince charming or perfect lover.

 i suppose we all, at one point, experienced falling in love. its one of the most amazing happenings in our life. it seems we cant get enough of it. falling is all about coming down, descending. love, on the other hand, has an uplifting power, so powerful that it can give you wings. then again, if you give it a deep thought, the phrase 'falling in love' certainly makes some sense, because the execution of falling eventually ends up in hitting the bottom. the prodigy is all too perceptible. you meet some special guy. magical moment happens. you're flying. overwhelmed by happy emotions, bliss and jubilation.

inevitably, however, the falling ceases. what goes up, must come down. you land, hard and flat on the face. all of a sudden, the love of your life proves less than worthy. their flaws becomes apparent. and so begins the tormenting process of falling out of love.

i always thought that break-ups are suppose to happen in movies but not to me. when it finally happened, i felt as though someone had just crushed  my heart, tearing it to pieces.  i was badly hurt. crying is something i do not usually indulge in, but the last few months, i have collected buckets of tears. a broken heart is almost the equivalent of grief. i wanted to change things and make them right but i don't know how. good sleep is hard to come by and crying to sleep has been a nightly habit. my emotions are all over the place.

i yearn for yesteryears  when all was right and perfect (or so i thought) in my world. i miss the happy girl that i was. not having my ex in my life just don't seem right. as in resembling a gloomy day in July! i crave for the moments of togetherness, when nothing else matters but the two of us.

healing a broken heart is not a simple course to take especially if you still love the person. whatever awful things that had materialized, they will withstand with the good that they have. love is a decision and forgiveness is a choice. everyday you love and everyday you forgive. not all love stories are derived from one's fanciful mind. yes, fairy tales do falter sometimes. but no matter how many times love fails me, i will persevere, endure and get on with it. lastly, love is candidly and plainly forgiving and accepting things.